In My Defense (a parenting rant)

I don't get it. Maybe I'm deaf, or just lucky, or perhaps I'm the perfect parent (probably that one). I just don't know who all these people who defend their parenting style/choices are defending theirselves from. I don't doubt that there are people who adamantly oppose certain decisions in parenting. I just don't see the attacks that would necessitate a defense. So you vaccinate or don't vaccinate your child? Or you breastfeed? Or you formula feed? Maybe you almost always hold your child? Or perhaps you let your child "cry it out?" Good for you. You are likely a great parent. I truly appreciate your experiences, opinions and research. They help me to make informed decisions for my own family. I just can't stand to see you portray yourself as a victim. We are all doing the best we can. Keep at it. And hopefully, one day soon you will be a perfect parent like me or deaf, rather, to the mean-spirited few who don't know when to hold their tongue and let you make the best choice for your own family.

Love makes the world go round.

This morning in church, as we sang:
"In my life, be lifted high;
In our world, be lifted high;
In our love, be lifted high,"
I thought a little about what this means. God calls His followers to be righteous. Because of this expectation, I may be found to be conservative in my beliefs. "In my life, be lifted high." I was also struck by this passage earlier this morning:
"Love from the center of who you are; don't fake it. Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good. Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle." (Romans 12:9, 10 MSG)
Putting all this together, brought me to the following conclusion:
Although I may be considered conservative in my (Christian) beliefs, may I never be conservative in my LOVE!

On Being Pregnant

I just have some things I want to get off my chest (or belly).

In case, you haven't figured it out, I'm pregnant. Our little girl is expected to arrive July 13th. We (my husband & I) are very excited to meet her. Over the past few weeks (months?) or so, I have been thinking about the many ways I just feel and act so different than your "average pregnant woman." I think there are just so many stereotypes that we put on pregnancy that come to be expectations, when in reality EVERY PREGNANCY and EVERY PREGNANT WOMAN IS DIFFERENT!

Some stereotypes I'm not following:

• Weight Gain: I follow an online Pregnancy Bulletin Board full of women due in July and one of the constant topics of conversation is "weight gain"--how much have you gained? how much should you gain? and so on. This is one of the places where I am the most opposite pregnancy "norms." I know this can be quite a sensitive issue for many pregnant women, therefore I am quite shy in sharing that, in relation to my first OB appointment, I have not gained any weight. In fact, I am still below the weight I started at (almost 8 months in)! At first my doctor wasn't concerned, but now sometimes she is and has even questioned whether I am eating. I can assure you that I am eating. I've attributed my lower weight to the fact that I have been eating healthier and I think I had gained a bit of weight prior to finding out I was pregnant (wedding anniversary & 30th birthday trips will do that to you). Also my doctor got me more aware of my diet as I am "pre-diabetic" and am actively working to keep my blood sugar at a normal healthy rate throughout pregnancy. I LOVE carbs, so this means I cut out quite a lot of the bad stuff in my diet (at least reduced the portions). So far, so good.

• Cravings/Aversions: Pregnant women are always associated with crazy pregnancy cravings like Pickles & Ice Cream. I haven't really had any special cravings or aversions. Food I liked before, I still like. Food I didn't like before, I still don't like. Sometimes, however, I think my sense of smell is heightened--especially when it comes to cigarette smoke. YUCK!

• Discomfort: This is another thing I'm kind of ashamed to admit. As far as how my body feels, pregnancy has been fairly easy. No morning sickness. No regular back pain (yet). Baby doesn't kick me in the ribs or kidneys. However, I feel that when I tell people I feel "really good," they are almost disappointed that I haven't experienced much pain and discomfort. I do notice that I have to take certain things easy. My sciatic nerve doesn't like when I sit on the floor too long; bending down and standing up takes a little more effort; backs on chairs are pretty necessary; but for the most part I feel just fine.

• Sleep: During the first trimester I was exhausted quite a bit of the time. I would come home from work and just about pass out. From the second trimester on, I gained most of my energy back, but night-time sleep has actually been really great! I have enjoyed going to sleep earlier (pregnancy is a great excuse for declining late night invitations) and sleeping a full night. Sure, I have to get up once or twice to pee, but I don't know when I've ever slept better.

I'm sure there are other things that I will wish I would have shared, but I can't think of them now. Like this: I've had a few instances that I felt pretty confident in attributing to pregnancy hormones (crying at the pharmacy--I'm sure my husband could share some more), but for the most part I've felt pretty even-keeled. This is just my experience with pregnancy so far. We'll see how the rest goes and if I fall into some more cliché pregnant woman roles. Thanks for reading.

I'm Sorry and I Love You.

I feel like I have so much to say about stuff. Vague much?

This past weekend, I read Don Miller's "Blue Like Jazz," as I traveled to and from a family reunion in Oregon. I read about half of the book each way. "Blue Like Jazz" was incredibly popular in Christian circles (especially young, postmodern/progressive circles) a few years back, but I never got around to reading it back then. In fact, I'm not really sure when I bought the book, but I found it on my bookshelf and decided to take it for a spin—I am so glad I did! I am fairly certain that this will be one of those books that I will choose to revisit often. I can't necessarily put my finger on why, but it was quite profound. I think if I read it a bit more slowly, digest it a little and discuss it with other people, that would help. Highlighters and marginal annotations (thanks, Ms. Tay) would be a good start. It also made me want to get into my Bible and back up some of the things he asserts about Jesus and His teachings with Scripture.

It might seem a little cliche, but I feel that the overarching theme was "What Would Jesus Do?" I say this because, the author shared with his readers a physical and spiritual journey of sorts, where he learned and re-learned what it is to live as Christ intends us, as a follower of Christ, as an ambassador or representative of Christ. Historically and especially in the present-day we see proof that we aren't very good at representing Him.

One of my favorite stories from this book, is when Don and a small group of Christians at an extremely liberal college (Reed College), plan how to be present at a school festival that is known for all sorts of crazy debauchery--events are created specifically to help enhance the participants drug trips among other things. As a sort of joke, Don suggests they set up a Confession Booth in the middle of the quad. The group is split on whether or not this is a good idea. One group member is determined to make this happen, and presents an idea that when a person enters the booth, that they will not take a confession from them, but give a confession. They will confess how Christians, throughout history, and themselves personally have misrepresented Christ (the Crusades, ignoring the homeless, less fortunate, lonely, etc). This was such an incredible and profound idea to me. And they did it. And the liberal atheists and agnostics and others at their school appreciated it. So many people who reject the Church and Christianity do so because they have been hurt by someone who has misrepresented Christ and His Kingdom. And we are too busy defending ourselves to consider the option that we are wrong or confess and apologize.
Christians are not perfect. I am not perfect. I am sorry for forgetting you, for judging you, for ignoring you, for saying bad things about you, for saying bad things to you. I know I am going to mess up again and again and I was not made to do that. I was made to love you, and care for you, and encourage you, and support you. I'm sorry.

Another powerful thought I gleaned from this book was the idea that as a follower and representative of Christ, we should love like Jesus. We should recognize each person as one who has already been redeemed by Him. We should approach all that He created with love—from the smelly hippies to the capitalist pigs; from the liberal, science-loving professors to the Bible-thumping conservatives; and everybody else too. Nobody is exempt from the love of Jesus.
Jesus says, in Matthew 5:44-45a, "...love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven." That sounds hard, but that is what we are called to do, so I will try.

John has a lot to say about love in I John 4. In fact, he says that if we don't love, we don't know God (verse 8). It sounds pretty important, especially when we talk all the time about our "relationship" with God. You cannot have a relationship with someone you don't know, and you cannot know God if you do not love. Therefore a relationship with God is conditional on a life filled with love. I like the way Eugene Peterson paraphrases this passage in "The Message":

God Is Love

^7-10My beloved friends, let us continue to love each other since love comes from God. Everyone who loves is born of God and experiences a relationship with God. The person who refuses to love doesn't know the first thing about God, because God is love—so you can't know him if you don't love. This is how God showed his love for us: God sent his only Son into the world so we might live through him. This is the kind of love we are talking about—not that we once upon a time loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to clear away our sins and the damage they've done to our relationship with God.

^11-12My dear, dear friends, if God loved us like this, we certainly ought to love each other. No one has seen God, ever. But if we love one another, God dwells deeply within us, and his love becomes complete in us—perfect love!

^13-16This is how we know we're living steadily and deeply in him, and he in us: He's given us life from his life, from his very own Spirit. Also, we've seen for ourselves and continue to state openly that the Father sent his Son as Savior of the world. Everyone who confesses that Jesus is God's Son participates continuously in an intimate relationship with God. We know it so well, we've embraced it heart and soul, this love that comes from God.

To Love, to Be Loved

^17-18God is love. When we take up permanent residence in a life of love, we live in God and God lives in us. This way, love has the run of the house, becomes at home and mature in us, so that we're free of worry on Judgment Day—our standing in the world is identical with Christ's. There is no room in love for fear. Well-formed love banishes fear. Since fear is crippling, a fearful life—fear of death, fear of judgment—is one not yet fully formed in love.

¹⁹We, though, are going to love—love and be loved. First we were loved, now we love. He loved us first.

^20-21If anyone boasts, "I love God," and goes right on hating his brother or sister, thinking nothing of it, he is a liar. If he won't love the person he can see, how can he love the God he can't see? The command we have from Christ is blunt: Loving God includes loving people. You've got to love both.

So we MUST love, not so that someone will love us back, but because God loved us and we are His representatives and a conduit for His love.

Someday I'd like to unpack this more, because there are still a lot of questions, like "How did he show love in challenging the Pharisees?" and "How can I show love and grace to sinners, yet not support their sin?" and the ever-constant question: "What Would Jesus Do?"

With all that, let me say, I'm sorry and I love you! I really do!

#5 Because of Compassion

25 Reasons Why I’m Going Silent on April 25

Today I simply give you a quote from the first lady of broadcast news, Barbara Walters.

"It would be nice to feel that we are a better world, a world of more compassion and a world of more humanity, and to believe in the basic goodness of man."

There is a note at the beginning of my April 1^st post to give a tiny bit of background to this series.

If you would like to find out more about Invisible Children and the “25” campaign, go to www.invisiblechildren.com. You can CLICK HERE to go to my fundraising page.

#4 Because of a Few Ordinary Guys with Extraordinary Passion

25 Reasons Why I’m Going Silent on April 25 

There is a note at the beginning of my April 1st post to give a tiny bit of background to this series.

Jason Russell. Laren Poole. Bobby Bailey. In 2003, they were three guys (who fancied themselves “filmmakers”) fresh out of college, looking for a story and an adventure. They found both. And it lasted much longer than they expected. In fact, the story is still unfolding and the adventure develops and changes all the time. If these three ordinary guys had not taken on the unknown as they traveled to Africa in 2003—the same day as the start of our war with Iraq; two days before I traveled to Europe with a friend of mine—I would probably still know nothing and do nothing for the people of Northern Uganda, D.R. Congo and other parts of Africa that live in constant fear of the Lord’s Resistance Army (LRA). It is because of their passion to share the atrocities they witnessed and their determination to bring an end to the terror Joseph Kony (leader of the LRA) is inflicting, that thousands (perhaps hundreds of thousands or more—I haven’t checked the numbers) who would otherwise be ignorant of this, know and care. Their passion and determination is contagious. The creativity that they, and their staff, and their supporters display is inspiring. Who knew there were so many ways to bring attention, to raise money and to respond to something that just yanks on your heartstrings? Their passion led them so far as to stand in the office of the President as he signed a bill into law, promising support from the U.S. government to end the terror of the LRA. (Their goal, now, is to see that resolution come to fruition, as necessary.) I know they will not stop until the terror and the fear ends. And I fully support them. I trust that they won’t give up, just as their friends in Africa trust the same thing. I am inspired by their commitment, their drive and their unfailing love for a people so far away.

If you would like to find out more about Invisible Children and the “25” campaign, go to www.invisiblechildren.com. You can CLICK HERE to go to my fundraising page.

#3 Because Their Story Must Be Told

25 Reasons Why I’m Going Silent on April 25

There is a note at the beginning of my April 1st post to give a tiny bit of background to this series. 

I know, people being silent, doesn’t seem like a very good way to spread the word. In fact, it actually seems quite apathetic. But the power behind 25 hours of silence isn’t only in the actual silence. It’s in the before and after. It’s in the unspoken interactions. As a participant of Invisible Children’s “25” campaign on April 25, I am not only committing to spend 25 hours without speaking. I am committing to tell everyone I know what I am doing and why I think it is important. Hence, these blog posts. One thing Invisible Children has resourced participants with is a set of little cards to give out the day of the event to help explain to people what we are doing.

I don’t recall if the organizers have made this comparison, but I think one of the reasons we will go silent, is in solidarity with those who are silenced by the Lord’s Resistance Army (LRA) and those whose pleas for help are not heard by the world. I wonder how many of you had ever even heard about the LRA before you read this? Western media has failed to give this tragedy much attention. It is only by the efforts of those passionate to make change that any of their stories are shared.

One of my favorite things about Invisible Children is that they strive to make the issue personal and relevant. Each face in their movies and videos has a story. Each child in their educational programs has a story. Each person who has been victimized and killed by the LRA has a story. It’s the stories that allow us to feel like we can and should do something.

One of their earlier campaigns is called the “Bracelet Campaign.” Through the Bracelet Campaign, you can help fuel the Ugandan economy and support Invisible Children by purchasing handmade Acholi bracelets in a variety of colors. Each different color represents a person with a story. And their story is told on a dvd that accompanies your bracelet.

Invisible Children is devoted to stories. And the story isn’t over. We can be a part of their story. We can help bring hope and redemption to their stories, by supporting Invisible Children in their efforts to end the terror created by the LRA. I hope you will join me. 

If you would like to find out more about Invisible Children and the “25” campaign, go to www.invisiblechildren.com. You can CLICK HERE to go to my fundraising page.