14 February 2005

Seeking

When You said, "Seek My face," my heart said to You, "Your face, O LORD, I shall seek." Psalm 27:8
***
Sure, my heart says that, but my mind likes to give me 'what ifs' and 'buts' and 'are you sures?'

So, tomorrow, I am going to do it. All signs are pointing me to quit my job. It is so scary. I am really comfortable there, but God never called us to be comfortable.
Here is how I envision the conversation with my boss (after the pleasantries):
me: I need to give you my two-weeks notice.
boss: Well, why? Is something wrong?
m: No. Honestly, the reason may seem rather strange to you. It is not because of anything here at work or even at home, but I feel God calling me to something different. And the really weird part is, I have no idea what that is yet.
b: Is there anything I can do to keep you here?
m: No, this is almost beyond my own will too. This is a very strange situation to be in. But I know I need to do it.
---I really don't know where the conversation might turn from here. And who knows if it will come out how I wrote it down. This is one of the scariest things I have ever done. I hate disappointing people, and logic would say that I really have no reason to do this. But I also hope that this will be a chance where I truly get to share my utter and complete faith in God. I think that the best time to discuss this with my boss will be around 5, because I think it will be good for all of us to have the evening to go over it. I don't know when she would consider telling my co-workers, etc... I am so scared. Please pray for me: for strength, courage, words, wisdom, all the tools I will need to do this tomorrow. Please pray for my boss and co-workers: for understanding.
***
Almighty God, Be my strength. Be my voice. Be my thoughts. Be my intentions. Be everything for me. I know that I should not be so scared. I know that you will provide for me, but I REALLY need you to speak for me, to move for me tomorrow. I don't have the strength and the courage to do it on my own. I know it is only through you that I live. Be my guide. Shelter me. Love me. I love You.
Amen.

4 comments:

Gina said...

Faith is always harder when we have to DO something vs. just LETTING something happen to us.

Thomas Costello said...

What we need to see in that verse liz is not just the doing it part, but the why. The Psalmist here says that he heard the Lord say to do it, and he did. It almost sounds retarted. Its like mellissa saying to me "take out the trash" (I get that a lot) and then me saying in response "I am going to take out the trash" but it is not my personal desire to do that sometimes, nor is it a head thing. My heart did it almost automaticly. Don't know if this is making sense. I just want you to see that youare following the word of the Lord to the tee. he says jump, you say how high. I will be praying for you liz. In fact I just did so expect awesome things.

Fo Sho said...

Sliz- you know I've been praying about this too. God will be with you. You are following His will, and you will be blessed and protected.

Liz J said...

Thanks all! I knew I wouldn't do it unless I told people first and it even took 3 hours after me writing that post to actually put it up. So, today's the day...I will try to write what happens later.
Liz